It’s somewhat a bittersweet freedom that I’ve gained. On one hand, I’m just in the comforts of my room living by the day whichever way I choose. On the other hand, cash on hand is getting used up a little too fast and if I don’t work out my projects soon enough, it’ll be the end of me.
Like Sippin’ Coconuts By The Beach
I’ve pretty much spent my days barely getting out of my room to grab some much needed sunlight. I’ve retreated to my man-cave and have been convincing myself that I need to catch up on sleep I’ve lost. In that light, I’ve been just in my room playing games most of the time and eating burritos and whatnot.
It was like I was on a short-lived vacation. All I do was eat, sleep, and play. It was great! I get to choose what I do and no one looks over my shoulder and tells me that I’m stalling. I was kicking back and mixing my own mocktails.
Catching Up on Personal Stuff
This is the second time I’ve written on my blog since the day I left work. I’m not saying I’ve been growing as a person just yet. I’ve only been able to regain some of my old cherished habits of being a curious kid. I’m slowly trying to get back into writing. I’ve also began training again. It was such a great bonus when my old training buddies were also there last time.
I still haven’t gotten back to running, but just to be on the safe side I need to check with an ECG and a cardio specialist. I’ve known for a long while now that there’s something off about my heart, and if left unchecked could lead to something a little too serious.
I’d like to get back on some of my personal projects again soon. I’ve put them on the backburner for so long that the original plots for most of them have probably devolved from what they originally were.
Still, the time I got back is much appreciated. It’s been great.
The well of resources that is my last paycheck is already drying up. Way too soon, if I may add. This current project I have is supposed to be done by mid October. Hopefully by then it gets cashed out too.
My other on-going project is starting to get a little bit tedious with what is expected of me. Over time it might get to be toxic too. I’m also getting the vibe that the client wants to terminate the project soon. I trust the client, they wouldn’t leave me in a bad position. As will I. I just have to keep it up for a little while until I’ve regained stability.
The first safety net is deploying. To those who’ve not read my previous entry, it’s my way of saying that the project is supposed to handle my downward cashflow from my resignation. The first project is already under way and we’ve made a fair agreement for what it is for the time being. While it’s not cashed out, it’s still in the status of “Deploying”. It’s up and out, but it won’t be able to catch me just yet.
The second safety net, however, is not yet set. It’s not even “deploying”. Source hasn’t replied as of the time of posting. This one is the BIG net. Not only is it meant to keep me from falling, but also springboard me onto a really good safety margin. It is still in the dark. I do not know if it will come out this month or the next. Hopefully and preferably not the latter.
I’m starting to steer the free-fall to get me to the nets. It’s time to be hands-on.
My name is Lou, and I’m running out of coconuts.
I’ve lost track of what week I’m on and what day it is since the first post so I’m just gonna mark them like small chapters in my life. My name is Lou and I just “Jumped”.
"Out of the Frying Pan and Into The Fire"
I’ve recently just told my boss that I would resign from work effective on the first day of October. That’s next Tuesday. I’ve grown increasingly unwilling to lock my time in the company since I have other concerns and needs to take care of. The workload was still the same in the studio, but due to recent developments in my private life / practice, I’ve had to carefully balance time in the studio and time for everything else. I’ve become really sloppy with it that the studio is counting on me, as I would see it, as an temporally unreliable asset. I’ve been showing up in the studio early and late and event unexpectedly absent from time to time way too often. I thought that it’d be wiser just to count me out entirely.
The good thing about this move is that they don’t have to worry about me coming in and going as I pleased. They won’t have to worry about a guy that may or may not be around the next day. As for me, I have more free time to tend to my external affairs. I have more time for myself too. I could hone my skills without the constraints of time and energy that was otherwise utilized by the projects that the studio was working for. I would see it as a win-win for both sides, I guess. Since my contributions there are almost negligible. I don’t think that they’d even care to notice that I’m gone.
On the rough side of things, I’m going to be unemployed for a while. A fact that the landlady is worried about. I left my job so that I can tend to two projects that were also coming my way that I cannot simply turn down. If they pull through, I can put my life in the direction I wanted it to go, or at least start at it.
That being said, I’m in a transitional phase right now and it may even entail major bills unpaid and maybe a few days without food.
The plan was to get more time to deal with larger contracts that were inbound. It was a more financially viable option to pursue in that it outweighs my current earnings / man hour by a lot.Call me greedy, but I’ve got needs to tend to.
With what I was anticipating to receive, I would have had enough to start on a venture that I’ve been trying to get into but simply don’t have the right financials to support it. It would have been quite a positive transition if I could bend the path toward that direction.
When I took the “jump” by telling my boss that I would be leaving, I was counting on two projects to be my safety nets as I fall. Part-way through the jump, I get news that one of my “safety nets” was compromised. There’s no stopping mid-jump. I would have to hit the net, compromised or not. The second net hasn’t been properly cemented in either. Many would agree that it was a quite risky move. I admit that I had counted my hens before they hatched, but again, there’s no stopping mid-jump. I’ll either land or crash.
Foolhardily risky, I’m in a fall where there’s no parachute. It’s all just safety nets. I have to admit, I am fairly nervous about it. It seems to be more like a “jump now, think later” kind of reaction. I may have jumped too soon.
Also, I haven’t told my parents yet. They might even find out if my mother took time to read through this post. What with the new expenses coming in and all. I couldn’t muster up what guts I have left to tell them I’m jumping.
While I may sit idle and wait for the dust to settle down, as I whine on and on about the repercussions of my own doing, I am still looking forward to the plan’s fruition. It’s unclear now, for it has only just begun, and in a month’s time. We’ll know if I crash or land.
My name is Lou, and I just jumped.
On this week’s blog post: Running, Working, Giving.
Last Wednesday, I’ve had my longest overnight streak at work. I stayed there for a total of three work days just to finish a CG shot that involved a lot of fluid simulations and rendering.
I was told that I was going to be flooding a room with water and that the shot would be for a full length feature film. A total simulation time of around 48 hours with all the foam for a 5M cell simulation. For those who don’t get the technical complexities of the details I’ve just divulged, let me put it this way: it’s a bitch to wait for.
After two nights of toiling and waiting and sleeping in chairs, the shot’s CG got scrapped because it just doesn’t look good enough.
So… oh well.
The past two weeks of work were also a bit heavy. I’ve had a total of three overnight sessions just the other week. It ate through the entire weekend which is why I never got to post anything since the 20th of July.
I’m thinking of shifting the schedules a bit to have more posts in a week so that I just don’t lose that much needed momentum in writing. A lot of my personal writing works have suffered from the lack of motivation from starting a new thing every now and then. It’s not really like I’m actually running out of things to write about, but more like I’ve deemed them too uneventful to be on a weekly thing.
Work has bee fun, though. We’ve recently moved to our new facility just a few lots over. It’s a more spacious facility wherein there’s a lot of room to walk around in. I couldn’t really say the same for the tables, but then again it’s not yet entirely finished. Just a little more and I might be in one of the newer VFX rooms with the renderfarm.
We also got new chairs! really big and bossy office chairs. A lot of us liked the new chairs, one of us actually took a selfie that very moment.
All in all, work has been good. It’s just getting really heavier.
Man on the Run
I got my pair of running shoes! YAY! It’s taking a fair amount of time to adjust to it since it’s a minimalist running shoe. There’s not a lot of cushioning but there’s not a lot in the way either.
I bought the Skora Base. It wasn’t exactly my first choice, but when I tried on the Skora Phase, I felt a bit uncomfortable with the way the ball of my foot feels. There’s a small support column running up from the ground and into the shoe to provide support when running, but the entire shoe felt awkward for me. I went for the slightly cheaper Skora Base because it had a better feel in my opinion. The flashy colors were somewhat of a bother to me because I didn’t exactly favor flashy colored things. I’m more of an incognito kind of person.
I had my first road test of it yesterday when I was in Makati to meet up with a friend of mine. It was quite a walk from MRT Ayala to Glorietta 4 and then to Greenbelt’s Paseo side. I immediately found some little things that are making me regret my purchase. First of all: the right side of my right foot was aching a bit and I don’t really know why it was doing that. Second, there wasn’t a lot of grip to it.
Then today I got to really test it by running with it. It took the Roxas Blvd. route to Luneta Park. I sprinted a few times in between points but then I was starting to feel my heart straining. More on the shoe though, I decided to not wear socks, which was apparently a bad call. The insole was rubbing harshly against the sides of my feet that it started getting really uncomfortable after a while. When I reached Quirino, I just started walking and it felt pretty okay. From what I can see, I still need to get used to the shoe, since I normally feel weird with new shoes that have quite the snug fit. I’m going to give it some time so that my feet would adjust to it.
All in all, it’s a great pair of shoes. It did start gaining grip on wet tiles after it sorta softened up a bit. I’m getting good traction out of it.
Along with the shoes, I bought a shirt from Bo’s Athletics. It’s a grey dry-fit shirt that I’m planning to wear every time I go out running. It really handles moisture really well. It rained so hard earlier today that I can see whirlpools of rainwater at the drainages in the park. The shirt handled it pretty well, I didn’t have to worry about it being wet for too long. It eventually just dried off on its own quite nicely. I even got to hug a cute girl on the way home without any problems.
The ankle weights I’ve been wearing for a few weeks have had quite the effect on my running already. I seem to be running a bit faster than before, or at least it feels easier to reach those speeds now.
Had a good long run today, topped off by training in Luneta and then mass in PICC in the afternoon.
I’m loving today.
Giving Pieces of Me
I’ve recently identified that it’s not really a relationship I needed, but the freedom to express myself to my friends in a serious note. There are some people that I have sorely missed and I had decided to just start taking barriers of and just freely give “pieces” of me to them.
Yesterday was a success. After not seeing this friend of mine for quite a long while, I got to see her and managed to make her smile.
I don’t really know what else to say. I missed her.
I once heard from some speech, “If you really miss that person, don’t tell them… show them” And so I did.
I gotta say, it really feels good to make certain people smile and appreciate what you’ve done for them. Any malice aside, giving special gifts is such a nice feeling when you can actually give it. Apparently, the effort I put into giving it was much more than expected, but it was received with just as much appreciation as the effort I wasn’t expecting to put in.
Life is awesome.
My name is Lou, and this was Sunday, Week 13.
I am having difficulty following through with my personal projects. I’ve recently gained quite a respectable score in Crysis 3 and it had been my nightly escape ever since the start of the month. I’ve also had some scheduling difficulties what with the graduation two weeks ago. This is the first time I’ll be posting since all of that.
Suited Up and Taking Names
Every one of my friends know that I am a “passionate” first person shooter guy. One of the games that has brought me to the attention of votekickers and spree-haters is Crysis 3 by Crytek and EA.
I bought the game quite a while back but, due to pre-graduation requirements, I had opted to stay away from any of my games until I actually receive my grade. I started playing BF3 again and tried to catch up with the other titles that I have not played yet. Crysis 3, however, got left behind because it didn’t exactly have a lot to offer apart from its repetitive gameplay and near useless teammate and social mechanics. So, it was only recently that I had decided to level up my character up to a degree where I can comfortably slaughter the enemy team with a shotgun.
I’ve been votekicked only once. The players weren’t as smart as they were, and they weren’t THAT smart to begin with. A huge majority of the players simply don’t mind the F1-F2 thing going on on the right side of their screen. Idiocies aside, THAT was my cue to ease off on the grind. I’ve gotten good enough to a degree that I’ve been “Haccused” (/Hack-yoosd/) quite a few times. Yay for me. To top it off, I’ve already had at least one round wherein I’ve gotten 51 kills and another with a 12+ killing spree.
I am a gamer, a shooter, and I will accept no less than a clear and crushing victory against the opposition. :>
Onward We March to Being Broke
Last July 6th, 2013 was marked as the day I ceremoniously end my first degree.
There was a lot of prep involved. A grad practice here and some other somethin somethin business here, we were pestered with preps which, for me, included after-grad celebrations and what not.
Because of the events prior and after the ceremonies, I had missed quite a lot of work days. Racking up a total of 6 absences in a 13-day pay. So yeah, I’m pretty much incapable of buying nice things at the moment.
That still didn’t stop me from watching Pacific Rim and buying a new set of dumbbells, weighted gel gloves, and ankle weights.
I can’t really complain about my life right now. I’ve hit a pretty decent plateau. I have a well paying job and a side contract that more than pays the bills. All in all, I’m regaining and patching up my personal deficits so that I can smoothen out my life.
Fire and Forget… Forget…
One of the misadventures I’ve had lately has something to do with the fool’s heart that I had been born with. This is a heart that falls madly in love with anyone that comes close to resonating with it. Be it by similarities or attractive qualities, this little feature burdens me with bouts of insanity brought forth by constantly stepping in and out of the thin line between love and infatuation.
I am a mad dog, constantly chasing after whatever catches my attention or fills my memories with great emotions. It is in this tone that I write the vaguest of descriptions to tell the tale of a love that never was between a magic man and the rain lady.
Long story short, it doesn’t end well for the magic man, who drew inspiration from the memories he had kept so dear only to find out that he was the only one keeping them.
His days started to dull and repeat at a sad rhythm that only he can tune into. He wakes up to a morning with no sunshine. Only the gloomy overcast treads the sky with no haste.
"One day," the magic man said. "One day, a rainbow will arch over the horizon and the sun’s warmth will fill the fool hearts for another day."
It was with that that the magic man bid farewell to his journal. A different day will come, but not tomorrow.
Hi, I’m Lou and this is the catch-up on Week 11.
Anti-climactic scenarios, boredom, and muscle pain: the main reasons I couldn’t really post ANYTHING during the past three weeks.
The company I was working in had a significant downtime period that was long enough to get me to think I don’t have to do anything that day. It was pretty bad for me since I subconsciously and automatically assume that I, in fact, do not have anything to do or travel for for that day. I’ve been coming in late and in effect caused me to not get assigned any shots for the day and was made to just sit there and watch a series or while I conduct my own RnD projects for the company, like water simulations and hair and fur sims.
It pretty much snowballs from there up to a point where I would decide to just not go to work on any day that I think I would be late. I figured, why should I pull down the company any more by showing up and costing them more to just have me sitting there, right?
I skipped out on 4 days of work. That’s close to one week of not going to work, and sure, it DID cost me a few days’ wage. It’s fair enough to be so.
Financial talks of the downtime aside, I was also getting bored and felt the loss of momentum. I started getting really lazy and stopped writing anything for a while. Even my story blog hasn’t been updated in a while and I seem to have forgotten the plot for the next chapter.
When boredom gets to me, I tend to look for other means to entertain myself. I need to steamroll. I need to be on a roll to do something. It doesn’t have to be really good, just good enough. It needed to be enough to get started on. Right now, everything is just at the back of my mind. Stewing up into just clouds of memories of stories that may or may not be told ever.
Just recently, at work, the workload started kicking up again and I was getting shots to do for the day. I really love the feeling of being able to accomplish tasks on a daily basis. I don’t really mind that I travel a distance for it. I just want to get things done.
This week might have been a little more than what I could normally handle, but then again, its a lot better than nothing.
Trying To Man Up
A large part of my low self esteem stems from the fact that I am, in all intents and purposes, a dork. A hunched posture, flabby tummy, fat arms on a skinny frame, these are the things I have to address myself.
Retuning the body won’t be easy. I’ve known that since the beginning of the task. I wanted to have a very useful body. Fit enough to do work, fast enough to get around in, and strong enough to help out or just simply look the part.
I’ve started to get a little more serious in trying to get a leaner body. The thing is, I don’t have a kitchen or a place to prepare my own food. It gets really costly to keep buying from fairly upmarket establishments just for the “healthy food” because Fish Fucking Fillet is not available in the local food court.
Also, it’s a damn painful ordeal. That actually makes it all really funny. Sure, some people would drink until they’re wasted and laugh about being hungover the next day. I’d prefer a more useful way of being physically handicapped. Having sore muscles all over my body and showing up for work makes the whole thing funnier for me. Imagine a spry young fellow who is always in pain simply from going up a flight of stairs.
In the end, the goal was to have a body I could actually use and show off as well. Some ladies might want scrawny guys, but I want to be able to be someone’s hero should the need arise. Plus, I would be a total liar if I would deny that I am doing this for the ladies.
Three Weeks AFK
While not entirely away from the keyboard, I haven’t been writing due to the reasons stated above. I actually missed typing away on this keyboard that I have so purposefully chosen.
I’ve been wanting to write again for quite a while but since the downtime period, I’ve been making excuses after excuses and haven’t really done anything to further the tasks I needed to finish with regards to writing.
I still want to be a writer some day. I may be a visual effects artist right now, and maybe an SME’s brand manager and a would-be part-time real estate agent, but writing would somehow always make its way to being on the to-do list of things I want to accomplish in life. I am not as good a musician as I wanted to be and I fear that I might not have enough time to master it to a degree that is up to par with my speech in terms of expressing ideas.
The bottom line reason why I wanted to write things is to share stories to people and getting their reactions and appreciation in return.
I still have a lot to work on. My writing style has only been shaped to fit the needs for me blogging and writing articles that don’t really serve much of a journalistic or story-oriented purpose, not much for storytelling as in a novel as I wanted it to be.
Hopefully in the coming weeks, I would catch up on my writing. I might have to stop gaming on weekdays for quite a while first, but then, it’s a sacrifice that I am very willing to make.
My name is Lou, and this is the end of week 8.
As I ramble on about the overly dramatized events of my seemingly mundane life, I share to you, my estranged readers, my past week. In this collection of thoughts and notions I shall impart to you the ordeals and trials of Kirk Lannister; Captain of a ship for a brief moment, sending his regards, and find no ink to his tale.
While I have missed all my opportunities to watch Star Trek: Into Darkness, I have been a George Kirk this weekend. No, not the George Samuel Kirk, just Capt. George Kirk of the USS Kelvin.
If you didn’t know the story or the lines about Captain George Kirk in the 2009 alternate universe of Star Trek, you’re going to miss the reference.
After their captain being hailed into the Nerada, George Kirk was left to command the USS Kelvin as its acting captain. He “was captain for 12 minutes.” He saved 800 lives, including the infant Jim Kirk and his mother.
This weekend, the boss gave me explicit instructions to handle the incoming scenes for the monday airing of one of the shows the studio handles.There were only a handful of us left to do the job, and I wasn’t sure what the others might have heard about the situation or if I understood it the way I should have.
The rest of the crew, boss included, were off to Boracay to celebrate the end of a contract for one of the other shows that the studio catered to. Why we weren’t in Boracay that very same weekend is an entirely different and unimportant story.
The point is, I was given the responsibility to hold the fort while the masters are away. I felt honored. Appreciated. For a very short time, I was in charge. Not totally lording over everyone else, but close enough.
I am probably the greenhorn of everyone there, save the intern. I am a raw grad, just barely a month in the company, and seemingly the least in industry experience. But, I was told to manage it.
My other boss coined me as the OIC. I see no other way to call it, seeing as what seemed to be the responsibility spelled out by the instructions.
I stayed the whole weekend at work, not going home because of the late hours we finish. We’d normally call it a night at around 1 and 3am.
It was a tiring yet interesting experience. I’m glad to know that I had reasonable value in the team.
The Oak Wednesday Untold
While it IS Wednesday tonight, I do my writing BEFORE wednesday to give me time to edit out or furnish a final draft for what I post in my other blog, the Illusory Machine.
Sooooooooo. In light of the recent activites, I have not been able to take the time to write for the Illusory Machine for this week. I promise I will make it up to you guys who actually read the current tale I’ve been spinning on that blog.
I plan to write more, and if you enjoy what I’ve written so far then rest assured that there are more tales to come along.
The story for this week is unwritten and untold. It shall remain so until the next Wednesday, where I hope to write you the next chapter of Sophie’s stay at the Garden.
Quite the Wedding Indeed
Mere minutes before writing this post, I had just finished watching the 9th Episode of the 2nd Season of The Game of Thrones.
My words are simply unable to keep the subdued feelings I have for the episode. It is most…. prone to entropic reactions.
I’m afraid I have to cut this post short, for I fear my waking hours must come to an end for today.
I leave you with this note for the 4th Week of Life 2.0:
I’m Lou, and the Lannisters send their regards.